I am an enigma.
I don’t know what it is that makes me what I am and when asked, I never know what I want to say to get the message through.
They call me the Darkness but if I am Darkness, how can they still see me and think they know exactly who “me” is?
Isn’t Darkness just an embodiment of human fear?
A nameless personification of the bitter uncertainty of an unknown world?
This girl – a nameless shadow because she can’t fathom the truth of her own identity.
Watching, waiting, listening, hating, adoring, caring, loving, wondering, wishing, growing, changing, smothering, dying…
I’m a lost cause, I’m an enigma.
If I did my best to hurt you, to push you away when I need you the most, would you try to understand me then?
You see me as some sort of fallen angel, a lost puppy, beaten and whipped, that needs your love and attention but despite your best intentions, I’ll only end up hurting you.
I don’t need a savior, I don’t need your pity or your sad attempts at comfort…
They won’t change who or what I am.
Nothing can change who or what I am and at the end of each and every horrible day, I'm still a lost cause, an enigma.
I’m a freak, I’m a lost cause, I’m an enigma.
They hate me because I’m different.
I hate them because they’re just as different as I am but they’re better at hiding it.
Would I change myself to be like that?
I’d just be another nameless face in a crowded room, where it isn’t who you are
Rather, it’s what you wear, how you speak and who you choose to spend your time with.
It isn’t me, it isn’t who I want to be, but I wish for it anyway.
No one wants to spend a life in seclusion, no one wants this lonely hideaway, suspended above the rest of the world in silence.
"The living are just the dead on holiday"
What I am..
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Posted by f[nie]jj at Thursday, July 17, 2008
Labels: nothingness
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